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Post by Bravo on Jun 28, 2017 3:26:19 GMT
I just lost my world two weeks ago. My finance was in car accident and ddied. We were planning our wedding, and I was finally making her happy. I sit here and play through my head what if I went with her to see our wedding venue, what if I answered that call she sent before the accident. I'm lost and empty it's doesn't matter how much family support I have it's not helping I just stick on a strong front for them. I'm to young for this pain, I'm supposed to be getting married and living my life with her, it's no fair she was taking from me just when we were getting our lives in order. I'm so alone and empty. What do I do how do I go on?
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Post by jchicken on Sept 18, 2017 23:28:56 GMT
I lost my wife this past Tuesday.
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Post by daala on Sept 23, 2017 21:58:34 GMT
Really sorry for your terrible and shocking loss.
I can't imagine how one would process a sudden loss at such a young age.
It's normal that you have a million thoughts about "what if's" i think.
Do you have any close friends or friends/family that knew her well?
You might find solace in talking about her to others that knew her.
I am in a similar situation, a partner I considered a soul mate is dying of cancer at a very young age. He retreated from me in the last few months/ as soon as he lost hope and so I am experiencing a break up and an impending permanent loss at once. I survive by talking a lot about him and what he's done for me, his quirks, happy moments, a ledger of his life accomplishments and future plans we had, to people that knew him (even though it may not be the perfect idea regarding his space and privacy at the moment) and I survive through a lot of distractions, some healthy, some not so much. I take medication as needed, exercise daily on a bike or in a pool and work long hours to compensate for the emptiness. The worst is the intruding thoughts and all the guilt of what I could have done differently to support him. The longing and wondering if I could have done better becomes very overwhelming. Sometimes I resort to talking, journaling, or medication during the worst moments.
Please reach out any time.
Take care,
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Post by Shattered on Nov 20, 2017 7:36:33 GMT
Just had to comment as I am looking for others in my situation who know how it feels to suddenly loose their soulmate. I too am young and lost my everything 10 days ago. I am devastated and struggling to find the will to live even though we have a daughter together and everyone tells me I have to go on for her. I feel selfish cause all I want is to die to be with him.  my thoughts are consumed with things I could have and should have done differently that may have prevented his death (suicide) he needed help, he needed to be on close watch and I failed him. I may as well have pulled the trigger myself to be honest, I allowed him to lock himself in a room for 2 hours with the same rope that he had threatened to end his life with only 24 hours earlier and not only did I hide the rope for him (cause he asked me to) but I forgot about it and it was in the same room as him. So he took his life (also because I wasn't being supportive enough and had said bad things to him) so really I should be rotting in he'll right now, not living and breathing as we speak. I'm sorry for your loss, you can't blame yourself for a car accident, it couldn't be helped. What happened to my soulmate could have been prevented but instead of watching him I pretty much pushed him to feeling so shit he took his own life. I deserve to be dead not him.  |
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Post by croloss27 on Nov 21, 2017 4:35:57 GMT
I just lost my world two weeks ago. My finance was in car accident and ddied. We were planning our wedding, and I was finally making her happy. I sit here and play through my head what if I went with her to see our wedding venue, what if I answered that call she sent before the accident. I'm lost and empty it's doesn't matter how much family support I have it's not helping I just stick on a strong front for them. I'm to young for this pain, I'm supposed to be getting married and living my life with her, it's no fair she was taking from me just when we were getting our lives in order. I'm so alone and empty. What do I do how do I go on? I lost my fiancé suddenly on his birthday . It has been 3 months now and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t break down . On his birthday , he wanted to go look at wedding venues which we did . We had a great time , later that evening he went for a run at which time he had a sudden cardiac arrest . I miss him so much ... I mourn for the past, present and our future . I just feel that it’s just not fair. |
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Post by lindsay on Feb 15, 2018 10:13:15 GMT
I lost my best friend for 21 years. He was my everything. I feel empty most of the time. I only lost him a month ago. I feel like I am cheating him while moving on. I feel now like I live two lives. One being fine for people, moving on. And then another when I’m home alone, and aching from my soul. Everyone keeps telling me that it gets easier with time. But it has only gotten harder. And here I am reaching out to anyone else. Maybe someone can help me
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Post by brookielynn65 on Feb 28, 2018 9:03:17 GMT
I lost my love of my life..we were married 26 years....as I read all of the sorrow and pain in this group....i connect with everyone of you in some way or another...i cannot help anyone by saying it gets better or easier.. my love passed away on 7/14/2017....I'm still in disbelief....I hold onto memories... that's all I have left... all i can say is i feel so much pain and emptiness in my heart....but I'm here if anyone needs anyone to talk to...
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Post by jules79 on Mar 3, 2018 4:31:36 GMT
I lost my husband just over 2 weeks ago and I’m still trying to process what has happened. We were married just this last September, he has had declining health for some time. Mainly he was so depressed and while he tried so hard to make everyone around him happy, his inner pain was more than he could handle. He turned to drinking in the last few years and this was honestly the end of the line. I am so sad, as he was only 37 years old. I am so sorry for the sorrow you all must feel at the loss of your loved ones. The hardest part is waking up alone and ending the day alone. Hold on tight and get through....
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Post by jokenn on Apr 24, 2018 3:15:54 GMT
I lost my best friend for 21 years. He was my everything. I feel empty most of the time. I only lost him a month ago. I feel like I am cheating him while moving on. I feel now like I live two lives. One being fine for people, moving on. And then another when I’m home alone, and aching from my soul. Everyone keeps telling me that it gets easier with time. But it has only gotten harder. And here I am reaching out to anyone else. Maybe someone can help me I lost my wife and soul mate of 24 years in October. It has been very difficult. I too feel guilty for living. I know she would want me to go on and live my life, to find love again. I just can’t bare the thought of that right now. If anyone wants to talk please reach out. |
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Post by ValNbruno on May 24, 2018 19:48:18 GMT
11 years ago when my son was born 3 months later I woke up next to his daddy which very unexpected had an accidental overdose and passed away right next to me I was sleeping . That was such a hard thing to go through and harder since I just had my first child with this man. So as someone earlier in this forum said it felt wierd trying to move on , I felt the same I felt like I was cheating on him cause we never verbally broke up . So 1 year later I was slowly working on it with this man I was making sure he would be the man that would be there for my son and I . So he was daddy he had no other kids so us 3 had a really great relationship. We started going to church together. Him and I volunteered at vacation bible school for a few years. We had been through our ups and downs but we had built a bond like no other over the next 10 years. No matter what we went through we were always there for each other . We loved each other. Well last September 2017 we found out he had stage 4 colon cancer and that he had a year left to live. We wouldn’t have takin chemo just because we know how chemo does a lot more damage than people know. Chemo just wasn’t our thing but it was also too late anyway. He was pretty much done . But him and I worked on some natural things but it didn’t work out and 8 months later . 2 WEEKS AGO his organs shutdown and we lost him . The pain I feel and the sin I see my son feeling is just so hard. I’ve never gone longer than a few days without talking to him. It’s getting harder cause it has been 2 weeks and reality is starting to hit and oh my god. How do I do this. How do I breathe without my air.? A part of me died. My son is 11 years old and we help each other to stay strong. But we are hurting and we miss you Ballz . (I started calling him Ballz a few years ago cause of his fiery attitude. He was ballsy so lol ) Val N Bruno Eternity #one
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Post by ValNbruno on May 24, 2018 19:48:41 GMT
11 years ago when my son was born 3 months later I woke up next to his daddy which very unexpected had an accidental overdose and passed away right next to me I was sleeping . That was such a hard thing to go through and harder since I just had my first child with this man. So as someone earlier in this forum said it felt wierd trying to move on , I felt the same I felt like I was cheating on him cause we never verbally broke up . So 1 year later I was slowly working on it with this man I was making sure he would be the man that would be there for my son and I . So he was daddy he had no other kids so us 3 had a really great relationship. We started going to church together. Him and I volunteered at vacation bible school for a few years. We had been through our ups and downs but we had built a bond like no other over the next 10 years. No matter what we went through we were always there for each other . We loved each other. Well last September 2017 we found out he had stage 4 colon cancer and that he had a year left to live. We wouldn’t have takin chemo just because we know how chemo does a lot more damage than people know. Chemo just wasn’t our thing but it was also too late anyway. He was pretty much done . But him and I worked on some natural things but it didn’t work out and 8 months later . 2 WEEKS AGO his organs shutdown and we lost him . The pain I feel and the sin I see my son feeling is just so hard. I’ve never gone longer than a few days without talking to him. It’s getting harder cause it has been 2 weeks and reality is starting to hit and oh my god. How do I do this. How do I breathe without my air.? A part of me died. My son is 11 years old and we help each other to stay strong. But we are hurting and we miss you Ballz . (I started calling him Ballz a few years ago cause of his fiery attitude. He was ballsy so lol ) Val N Bruno Eternity #one
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csw
New Member
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Post by csw on Aug 29, 2018 10:16:34 GMT
I just lost my world two weeks ago. My finance was in car accident and ddied. We were planning our wedding, and I was finally making her happy. I sit here and play through my head what if I went with her to see our wedding venue, what if I answered that call she sent before the accident. I'm lost and empty it's doesn't matter how much family support I have it's not helping I just stick on a strong front for them. I'm to young for this pain, I'm supposed to be getting married and living my life with her, it's no fair she was taking from me just when we were getting our lives in order. I'm so alone and empty. What do I do how do I go on? I lost my fiancé suddenly on his birthday . It has been 3 months now and there is not a day that goes by that I don’t break down . On his birthday , he wanted to go look at wedding venues which we did . We had a great time , later that evening he went for a run at which time he had a sudden cardiac arrest . I miss him so much ... I mourn for the past, present and our future . I just feel that it’s just not fair. |
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Post by liteserenity on Dec 23, 2018 8:10:38 GMT
I lost my fiancé. My soul mate. We were planning the wedding. He is now ashes. He just died 5 ish days ago. I can’t function, think, process. He made me want to live. I don’t want to live. I won’t can’t kill myself I have 3 adult babies. But I’m done. I want God to take me out.
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ruth
New Member
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Post by ruth on Dec 25, 2018 16:58:32 GMT
Today is Christmas and I miss my husband so much. I just don’t know what has happened. I’ve tried to be as close to him as possible .
I understand how you all feel. Something that just can’t be explained .
Right now I want just a moment of peace.
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Post by alwright1984 on Dec 29, 2018 6:17:19 GMT
I just lost my world two weeks ago. My finance was in car accident and ddied. We were planning our wedding, and I was finally making her happy. I sit here and play through my head what if I went with her to see our wedding venue, what if I answered that call she sent before the accident. I'm lost and empty it's doesn't matter how much family support I have it's not helping I just stick on a strong front for them. I'm to young for this pain, I'm supposed to be getting married and living my life with her, it's no fair she was taking from me just when we were getting our lives in order. I'm so alone and empty. What do I do how do I go on? |
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my thoughts are consumed with things I could have and should have done differently that may have prevented his death (suicide) he needed help, he needed to be on close watch and I failed him. I may as well have pulled the trigger myself to be honest, I allowed him to lock himself in a room for 2 hours with the same rope that he had threatened to end his life with only 24 hours earlier and not only did I hide the rope for him (cause he asked me to) but I forgot about it and it was in the same room as him. So he took his life (also because I wasn't being supportive enough and had said bad things to him) so really I should be rotting in he'll right now, not living and breathing as we speak. I'm sorry for your loss, you can't blame yourself for a car accident, it couldn't be helped. What happened to my soulmate could have been prevented but instead of watching him I pretty much pushed him to feeling so shit he took his own life. I deserve to be dead not him. 
