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Post by Lost on May 8, 2016 6:55:59 GMT
Well I really don't know what to say except I am so terribly sad. My husband had Psuedo-Bulbar ALS. and was diagnosed with it in Nov. of 2012. it has been a very long and hard 3 years and so many months. I been having trouble getting out with people very much. Sometimes I think I'm going to shake out of my skin. My heart hurts!! And a cardiologist told me it might be good to talk to people who have been in these same circumstances. Not sure how far to go but my husband and I lost our 20 year old son on July 4 2000. That was devastating to both of us . and still to this day it can sneek up on you and bring it all back. I had to quit my job and help be a caregiver to my husband for the year and he didn't want me out of his sight. I barely could go to the grocery store!! It has been so very hard!! But I should say I wouldn't do anything different. My only regret is I have some problems too and I hurt so bad some days I would yell at him. That was so unlike me . and I apologized and apologized. but I still feel so guilty for doing him that way. He was my world!!! As soon as he was diagnois with this ALS we both started grieving cause we new the outcome of it!! I miss him so much I don't know what to do with myself. Even though he was a prisoner to his wheelchair and was losing the use of his left arm, which he had a ready lost the use of his right arm and most of the use of his legs he couldn't speak very well. which was so very frustrating to him mainly ,but ,so hard for me because he would get more frustrated when I couldn't understand him. But still even though I know he is with our Son now and his other family I can't seem to be ok. It has only been a little over 2 months since he died at home. I'm sorry this is so long!!
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mikes
New Member
I loss my wife to multiple myeloma December 11, 2015 after five years of cancer treatment
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Post by mikes on Jul 5, 2016 22:48:05 GMT
I am sorry read of your lose and how it all came about, life is hard and hurts so much sometimes and now the sometimes is most of the time. I lost my wife on December 11th leaving me with five beautiful children and two grandchildren which she just adored and was a huge part in their foundation in life. We also lost a child at birth, our first, we learn so much from each other and grew every year know that life is a gift and to be celebrated. We passed that love and thoughts on to our children. We all grieve the lose of our joy maker, the one who was always there for no matter what. Always laughing , smiling, giving support to everyone she met. I find it so hard to be. To find life and know she is not there to share it with us all. Always looking for her to be by my side, home when I get home, someone to call, some just to tell how my day was, I miss her so much I feel life has come to a halt and will not go on til she is back in my life. Then I stop and think of her and how she was there for every one. Just after she died I wrote her a letter thanking her for all she has done and ment to me I promised to her I would fill this empty pain in my heart with JOY, LOVE and LAUGHTER to celebrate her life. This has been so hard any time I feel these emotion I think of her and it makes it even hard to succeed. But I know in my heart the pain will always be there as it is for our son we loss 30 years ago. Time is what I need I know. I will make sure all see the JOY, LOVE and LAUGHTER to celebrate her life!
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Post by krisa1471 on Sept 19, 2016 20:02:19 GMT
I lost my husband to liver cancer October 20, 2013. He said he was going to fight it and he did right to the end. Since his passing, life is so hard. I dread getting up everyday and facing the anger, sadness, depression, and feeling lost, just plain lost. He was my life for 29 years. We had great times together..yes, we had our arguments and fights. It became had when the cancer set in though. We went to specialists in Atlanta, GA and they said he had a good chance with this new treatment. It didn't take. His personality changed dramatically. And yes, we argued. He was unpredictable. I stuck with him and cared for him alone. It was a terrible time for him fighting this insidious disease each and every day. I still was with him, always with him. Yes, he became difficult and mean at times, but it was the disease talking not my beloved husband. He passed away at the hospital. His doctor told me he was dying and there wasn't anything anyone could do. That is the feeling of powerless. I never went to grief counseling..denied it. Moved to Ohio to start an antique business to forget. The business didn't work out, and quite frankly, nothing has since I moved. I don't care for Ohio, but have nothing left where I came from in Alabama. I am suffering with anger, sadness, pain, loss, grief, and feeling that I don't belong anywhere. Tried so many things and still have all these feelings. I am not comfortable in my own skin, I don't love me so how can anyone care. Nothing to look forward every day.
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Post by jokenn on Apr 24, 2018 3:22:28 GMT
I know how you are feeling. I lost my wife and soul mate of 24 years in October. It has been very difficult. I too feel guilty for living. I know she would want me to go on and live my life, to find love again. I just can’t bare the thought of that right now. If anyone wants to talk please reach out. There are days I just don’t want to go on anymore. I still think sometimes it is a bad dream and I will eventually awaken. All I do anymore is work and stay at home. People tell me to go places and do things. What they don’t understand is that my wife and I went places together. Just going to the grocery store is hard. Being alone is hard.
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